MAKE A LASTING FIRST IMPRESSION

Although it might sound like a superficial remark, first impressions are very important. I know, that “you should not judge a book by its cover” and its “the character that counts”. But psychological research has shown that people tend to remember best the first and last impression; so the minute you walk into the door and the minute that you leave. The period in between, which deals with the content of the interaction is unfortunately easily forgotten.

And what use is a great character, if a person does not want to get to know the character because of a lousy first impression.

It is way harder to correct a negative first impression, than to ruin a positive first impression.

In a business setting there are numerous first impressions on an average day; it is not only the application interview or the first day at a new job, but also a first meeting with that new colleague or a potential new customer. And there is only one first impression you can make.

Just a few elements to take into account in a first meeting:

• Know your non-verbal communication. Do not cross your arms in front of you (closed position – defensive attitude);  do not sprawl in your chair (not interested, not respectful); make eye-contact; do make supporting arm or hand movements if you speak (supports what you say and can show some enthusiasm), etc.

• Watch your appearance. You don’t have to wear the latest fashion trend, but your appearance should match the type of occasion without pushing your personality out of the picture. If you never wear a suit and tie, people notice that that is not the real you and you might come across as not genuine;

• Show interest in the other person; you are seen in a more positive light if you show interest in what the other has to say – ask questions or see their point of view and concentrate on what is actually said; you must make the other one feel good about you and about himself  or herself;

• Stay who you are; meaningful first impressions are the first step in, hopefully, lasting relationships; if you presented yourself the first time as totally different from the real you, you will be judged a fake once the other knows you better; of course it is no more than natural to focus on your “strong” points and to smooth over your “weak” points.

THE BASICS 4: FORDISM

In every handbook on work psychology or organisational psychology you examine you get first Taylor with his scientific management (see the basics 3: https://em2psychoatwork.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/the-basics-3-scientific-management-taylorism-what-does-it-teach-us/) and then immediately after that Henry Ford with his addition to Taylor’s theory. Although I am far from pretending to write a handbook, I  can only but follow.

For a lot of people it might be surprising that Henry Ford, the famous American entrepreneur and pioneer in the car industry, is mentioned as one of the pioneers of organisational psychology. At least for me it was. And he owes it to the invention of the assembly line, which changed the organisation of the work processes completely.

Now the workers did not have to move around anymore to assemble a product, like a car, but they could remain on the same spot. No valuable time was lost and they could speed up production. Workers were reduced to mere little machines who were turned on and off by switching the conveyor belt. The workers did not have any discretionary power left; beautifully illustrated by the video clip of the Lucy Show in The Basics 3.

Although from an economic point of view the assembly line was hugely successful – production skyrocketed; a car became a familiar sight on the roads and was affordable for a considerable part of the population. But the economic drawback came when people started to ask for more diversity. The T-Ford was available only in black. That triggered further technological developments.

I found this video on youtube which illustrates the production line of T-ford; youtube.com by autotuningnews

But from a psychological point of view Fordism taught us that workers wanted and needed more from work than just doing the same movements over and over, without any intellectual challenge and without any decision-making rights, even on the tiniest part of their daily activities.

Even although Ford paid very well, money would prove not to be the only motivator. People needed more. The developments lead to widespread opposition from workers and a downturn in the work morale, not surprising if you have to do the same boring activities all day. And, although there was a financial crisis in full swing in the ’20s and ’30s a part of the workforce could simply not cope with the pressure and dullness of assembly line and comparable production work.

For comparison the modern-day manufacturing of Renault Megane; youtube.com by renault (I hope they don’t mind me using this video; it is extra exposure though!)

But like all major developments in this field, also Fordism has had a lasting influence on the organisation of work and work processes. The assembly line is still the leading production process in the car manufacturing industry, but now in a more humanized form and with robots replacing human workers. And that expresses exactly the feeling the workers in the heyday of Fordism in the ’20s and ’30s (and also in later years) might have had.

In the next episode of the Basics I turn towards a study that, although not intentionally, contributed to the development of the more people centred factors in work: the Hawthorne Studies.

M

HOW TO COPE WITH BOREDOM

How exciting a job may be and, even if you jump out of bed each morning because you are allowed to do every day what you like best, there comes a day in everyone’s life that you have to do a boring task or, imagine, have a boring day.

In most cases it is just a matter of grin and bear it;  in a few hours it will all be over and tomorrow is a next day. But what if it is a recurring state of mind ? Ask yourself a couple of questions.

• is feeling bored part of my character ?

Not everyone reacts the same to the message that you have to fold 1000 letters,  put them in envelopes and have them posted within 3 hours. But one person starts the task with a smile, puts his mind on hold and simply does it (even if he does not like it) and the other person sighs, thinks of how horrible the next few hours will be and is already behind before he even started it. Your mindset is crucial here – continue to the next questions.

• can I delegate the task ?

Now, there is an attractive thought. Is there no secretary available or another staff member ? Tedious tasks are not very popular though, but may be what is boring for one is exciting or at least less boring for the other ? You never know.

• is it a fundamental or recurring part of the job ?

Suddenly you start realizing that you did this task more often and all-in-all it did not inspire you much; was it actually part of the job description or did you “misunderstood” some things in the application interview or are you slowly pushed onto a sidetrack ? Investigate what makes you bored – may be there is something more fundamental going on.

• can I somehow make it more enjoyable ?

Yes, there are ways to make a tedious task more enjoyable. But it largely depends on the question whether you have to use your mental capacity and/or concentration to do the task.

If yes, it is much more difficult – may be you can talk things through with a co-worker or plan the task at a moment your biological clock is most ideal for intense but boring tasks, for example between 10 and 12 in the morning.  Unfortunately there will be a lot of competing activities; be strong: make a commitment to yourself to get it done.

If no, put on some music, sit down in a nice spot, chat with colleagues (and may be let them join in the fun …), pour in a nice cup of coffee, finish the task when you are up to it. Or what is usually seen as the best option: get it over with as quick as possible. Set the timer and play a game: to get as much done as possible in 15 minutes ! Often seen as the secret recipe for any boring activity (the gym anyone ?) – make it into a game.

But be aware of the risk. Usually quality suffers if you work under time pressure.  And if you are playing the game too often or for too long, your health might suffer as well. Stress is lurking around the corner.

M

3 CONTRACTS WITH YOUR EMPLOYER ?

In most cases one would say that one has only one employment contract with your employer, would you not ? Usually persons are referring to the legal document that you have to sign when you enter employment for a firm or an organisation.

By the way, please ensure that you have a written agreement when you start working for a company; although in some legal systems an oral agreement is just as valid as a written agreement, there are bound to be interpretative problems further in time, and as an employee you will almost always be the vulnerable party in the dispute.

foto: frank3.0 on flickr.com

A decent employer takes its staff serious and values its workforce as an important competitive asset; and a written agreement goes with it, although in some cases the finalization of a written version takes some time. That as a short deviation, but as a (former) legal counselor I had to mention this.

OK, back to the issue ! The legal contract is the contract in the regular sense of the word: “the employee has the obligation to fulfil certain agreed tasks and responsibilities and the employer has to pay a salary and other agreed benefits, as stated in the employment contract.”

Besides a legal contract there is also an economic contract – the employer buys the work efforts of the employee and has to pay a price for the labour. In this sense the employee sells his labour force to the employer.

And there is also a psychological contract, in the sense that both parties have certain expectations of each other, which starts already when reading a vacancy announcement in the newspaper or your first visit as an applicant. And from the employers’ point of view the application form or the moment someone walks into the door for the first time. As an employee you have your expectations on what working for the company in question would be like – and every encounter is unconsciously compared to these expectations.

A psychological contract is extremely powerful for the motivation and commitment of employee AND employer to maintain the relationship. For example, I have often started with high hopes working for a new employer, just to find after a few weeks (and then you still you doubt your own judgments) or a few months (and then you know for sure), that it is not as you expected it to be. Maybe my expectations were unrealistically high or my judgment during the application process was wrong or blurred ! In hindsight in most of the cases it was the fact that my ego was in the way: “if they want to have me, I must feel honored” and I did not check anymore whether the job was really what I wanted.

The lesson for myself: take a moment to step back – is this job really what I want and why not check whether the company’s reputation is as good as they say ? Your disappointment is also an employers’ disappointment; nobody gains if you enter an agreement on the basis of false expectations. In this sense the psychological contract is leading – if that contract is going sour it also has a negative impact on the economic contract and the legal contract. Let us try to avoid that !

M

 

4 REASONS TO SKIP THE TRADITIONAL CAREER MINDSET

Let’s continue on the career theme. What is often in the way if people figure out what career to follow and if they are successful in it is their own mindset.

• First, people see only a limited number of career possibilities. Logical of course that one can not oversee the whole field of career options; certainly at an age of 16 to 18, when young people normally have to choose what career path to follow.                                                     Usually you see at a later age what the world has to offer and you might see things passing of which you think: “wow, I wish someone told me about that before !”. But not only you develop yourself and your personality; also the world around us changes. Options that were simply not available when we were young; speaking for myself, where was ICT when I was (very) young ?

• Second, you also limit yourself with your beliefs, which have their origin in your youth. These beliefs are usually very strong and have, even without being aware of it, an enormous influence on how you see yourself and which choices you make in life. If you heard your friends say that you were boring (not great friends, but such things happen) or your first presentation at school does not go well, the image is rooted in your mind that you are not interesting or that you are not able to speak in public.                                                                       This self-talk influences the choices you make in life, without a check whether this image is actually true or (more important) is still true later in life. Maybe your friends were “joking” around or you simply had a bad day at school. Or you acquired since then essential techniques or instruments to deal with the issue. Or you became an excellent paraglider, held ten pythons as a pet or whatever (by the way, these things are by no means essential to be classified as an interesting person – most people do not need these activities to be interesting !). Or you simply matured, now have a different outlook on life and deal with your “flaws” in a different way.

• Third, and also a nice one. At school, on TV, within the family the traditional three stages education, career, retirement is still presented as the norm. First you go to school, then you find a job, you work for 40 or so years and then you retire. And if you study hard, you will get a good job. So anyone who does it differently, either voluntarily or forced by the circumstances, is a rebel, a dumbo, an outcast or simply a loser. It might sound ridiculous, but in essence the message remains that our happiness depends on following the three phases.

• Fourth; also the other party in this process, the employers, are for a part stuck in the traditional mindset. In the recruitment and selection procedure one is looking for “gaps” in CVs, “strange” career changes or why the applicant is making no vertical steps through the hierarchy. There must be something wrong there ! Be careful ! And then there is the tendency to hire people similar to oneself; so traditional mindset and even more traditional mindsets.

How to break through this conservatism ? First, let me say that as such there is nothing wrong with following the traditional way if that is your conscious choice and that is what you want – go ahead, be my guest ! But others should be stimulated to choose their own way and not be forced to head down the same path because “there is no other one available” or “it is simply what you have to do”.

Stimulate people to look around, don’t judge people because they realized that the way they have chosen is not for them and don’t let someone feel bad about himself because their career did not turn out the way they would like it. Be open-minded; happiness is a personal thing and has for everyone a different meaning.

M

A CAREER LIKE AN INTERCITY (OR THE LOCAL STEAMTRAIN …)

At one point in my life I compared my career with a journey in a train and, now I think back,  it was actually a very good comparison (I like metaphors!). So what is this metaphor ?

For those who are not familiar with the train-system in the Netherlands, and this is I suppose the majority of my readers, first a small explanation of the layout. As a kid I lived in the east of the Netherlands and if you wanted to go by train to the west of the country you had to board an intercity train which was halfway,  in Amersfoort,  split into one part going to Amsterdam and one going to Utrecht and The Hague (the yellow line in the map).

Imagine now that the yellow line is your life and Amersfoort symbolizes the moment in which you chose a career, let’s say when you are 18. Now you did not pay attention to what the announcer in the train said about the split up and you made no conscious choice on where you want to go. You  find yourself in the part going to Amsterdam because you wanted to go to Amsterdam because it somehow appealed to you, because your family expected you to go there or someone told you that The Hague was awful and a tough job to survive.

So you are sitting in the part going to Amsterdam and you talk to fellow passengers and you are starting to think about where you are going. You start to doubt your decision and after a few minutes more you, deep down, decide you want to go The Hague after all. What to do ?

Actually you can choose between 3 options:

• pull the emergency brake, get out and then decide how to proceed; you might find yourself in the middle of a field and it takes you a long time and effort to find a bus or train to proceed in the direction of The Hague;
• ask the train conductor what to do ? is it possible to change trains ? it takes some extra travel time to get to The Hague, but eventually you get there;
• you decide in the end to continue your journey to Amsterdam – too much trouble to change trains and it takes too much time, money and effort – maybe Amsterdam is also nice;

Use your imagination – you will see the metaphors. There is no best way; it all boils down to the spur of the moment, the people you meet, the history you brought with you, your motivation, your personality traits, the economy (which can slow the train down or even bring it to a standstill)  – for everyone this is different. There is no clearcut answers; everyone has to find his own way. But there is help; you can clarify what you want, you can ask people to help you to reach a decision and there are people on your way who can help you along. Use their expertise and wisdom; people in general are willing to help !!

M

ASSERTIVE OR AGGRESSIVE ?

It is not always easy to distinguish between being assertive or being aggressive. While assertiveness is in general seen as an essential part of standing up for yourself and making yourself seen and heard, aggressiveness is regarded as forcing your opinion upon others with negative consequences for the relationship (and more often than not the other will as a counteraction to the aggressiveness vehement stick to his own opinion). So where to draw the line ? Today 4 differences between assertiveness and aggressiveness:

 

• respect for other’s opinion

A person who acts assertive legitimately expresses his or her needs and by doing so demonstrates self-respect and self-confidence. If you combine it with having an open ear for the needs and wants of the other, you show respect to the other and his or her opinion (to which he is entitled!). If you are not open to what the other has to say, you will be perceived as aggressively forcing your opinion on the other person. You are not acting assertive if you make others feel rotten in return.

• aggressive people do not feel a connection

Aggressive people are, in an aggressive state, emotionally cut off from other people, because they are so focused on their aggression and voicing their opinion that they have no time, energy and resources available to feel what the situation needs to get to a conclusion acceptable to both. You are so biased that you do not see the opportunities to get 75% of what you want because you want 100% (and you will probably get o%!).

• aggressiveness is detrimental for the relationship

Even if you get the desired result with an aggressive approach, it will make it harder in the future to get things done. The other will feel intimidated and not intrinsically motivated to do it your way, with passive aggressiveness or even sabotage as a result. Threatening others may lead to short-term results but in the long run the disadvantages get the upper hand (and a sore hand by banging your fists on the table !).

• aggressiveness is not synonymous with non-assertiveness

Non-assertive people are not getting what they want or need because they do not actively ask for  it and as a result feel unfulfilled and frustrated. Others can not intuitively feel what you need, you have to express it. People who do not feel secure in expressing their needs might feel threatened and fall back into a stubborn defending of their views to protect their own views. This is not aggressive behaviour but coming from insecurity.

So in short. You can speak of assertiveness if:

• you express your needs and wants;
• you are aware that you are entitled to your own views;
• you know where your boundaries are;
• you are open to the opinions and views of others;
• you respect the other as a person, who is entitled to his views;
• you are not using aggression or intimidation to force your opinion upon others;
• you are not stubbornly defending your views to protect your self worth;
• you clarify your perspective without being defensive or arrogant.

M